Happy 3 months, little love.

Somehow my baby is 3 months today! It's completely cliche to say that time is flying by but WHATEVER IT'S TRUE! Anya has grown so much and continues to grow every day. It makes my mama heart happy and sad all at the same time. Also cliche, also true. All I know is that 3 months on the outside goes by SO much quicker than on the inside! It's fun hitting these milestones and realizing everything she's learned in such a short amount of time. Babies, man, they're absolutely amazing. 

Here's a little update....

I love: listening to her jabber... lil sis tells the most RIVETING stories! But I’ve discovered she’s extremely camera shy, so catching it on video is a challenge. 

I can’t get enough of: the way she falls asleep on my chest every morning after I feed her. I can (and do) stare at her perfect, peaceful, dreaming face for hours. 

I’m thankful for: Kendal’s “no-mercy” approach to swaddling... his homemade straight jacket keeps her sleeping through the entire night most of the time! 

I always want to remember: her pudgy fingers stretching and curling as she enjoys her bottle. She’s even started trying to hold it on her own. Already so independent. 

I’m insanely proud of: how determined she is to sit up on her own. She concentrates so hard when she’s trying to get up... it’s actually kind of hilarious. Dare I say, even better than her poop face. 

I always: race to get her after her naps because she gives the BEST smiles right after she wakes up. She is just so happy to see me and it makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

I can't live without: songs to help me get her to calm down and fall asleep. She's already such a King in that nature because she loves music, just like Kendal's side of the family. 

These three work almost every time: Cleopatra - The Lumineers. Lost in the Light - The Bahamas. And most importantly, The Happy Song - Imogen Heap. This one is literally magic. Even when she's screaming, I start the song and hold my phone by her head and she IMMEDIATELY calms down to concentrate on the sounds. Now, I'm not saying it KEEPS her calm because sometimes she is just too furious. But it definitely helps the majority of the time. If you have a baby... you NEED to try this. 

Some other notable developments that I can't think of a clever "I" statement for include: 

• Anya has discovered her hands and sucks on them ALL THE TIME. Her hands are almost always wet and sticky and have become the first thing I wash when I give her a bath. 
• She's also become quite the drool monster and is constantly blowing spit bubbles. Along with that, she's figured out how to click her tongue and blow her lips and it sends drool flying everyyyyywhereeee. Hahah so she's twice as messy but three times as fun because I could sit and listen to her make noises all day long. I do, in fact. 
• Last but not least, one of Kendal and I's favorite development is she's kind of learned to put herself to sleep. If she's calm, fed, changed, and has played a little... sometimes we can just set her in the crib or pack and play with her binky even if she's wide awake and she'll close her eyes and fall asleep all on her own. If you don't have kids, this might not seem that miraculous. But let me tell you, it's awesome. She is truly the best baby. And she's all mine :) And Kendal's, of course ;)

Long story short, Anya is an absolute joy. We wouldn’t trade life with her for anything.  

P.S. is there a way to make babies stay little but like... keep developing in all the other areas? SOS!

2 whole months

We took Anya in for her two month appointment on March 26th. Although the shots she got made us both cry, it was so much fun to see how much she’s grown! There is nothing quite as satisfying as seeing your baby chunk up. And I must say, she’s filling out rather nicely.  As of now, she is a little over 23 inches long (82 percentile), has a 15.6 inch head circumference (84 percentile), and weighs a whopping 12 lbs 3 oz (71 percentile). I knew she was growing like a weed because she feels so much heavier than she did just a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t prepared to hear she had already gained 4 pounds! She’s growing so fast and though I love watching her develop more into her own little person everyday, my mama heart breaks knowing there are so many things about the newborn stage that are forever in her past.

There is so much I love about the stage she is in right now. She truly has the sweetest personality. Even after she got her traumatic shots, she calmed right down once I picked her up and started bouncing her and reassuring her that everything was okay. Of course, helping her stop crying is not always that easy, but she has so much love in her tiny baby bod.

My favorite way that she shows me she loves me is through her gurgly coos. Everytime after a feeding she has so much to say. I can’t help but hold her extra close and have a full on goo-goo ga-ga conversation with her. Being a mother is the purest joy in the entire world. And being her mother is my greatest blessing.

She’s also gotten soooo smiley this month. It’s extremely rewarding to be able to see and enjoy her happy emotions. A fresh newborn is fun and sweet, but at times she felt like a tiny stranger who only used me as a 24 hour vending machine. Now she is becoming so alert to the world around her and I get to be the first witness as she expresses herself. It’s amazing how contagious smiles really are. When I smile, she smiles right back. And my heart bursts every time. I love the way her eyes twinkle when she smiles. I love knowing she is smiling without even looking at her mouth. She is filled with love and it radiates right out of her little windows to her happy soul.

She still loves her changing table more than any place in the house. I don’t even mind changing her diaper 10 times a day because it’s when I get to play and laugh with her. If my back didn’t still hurt after standing long from pregnancy and delivery, I would stand over her on that changing table all day and enjoy watching her wiggle with glee. I don’t know what gets her so amped about getting wiped down with a cold wet wipe, but it makes keeping her fresh and clean so much more fun!

She’s also learned to love bath time. She’s always loved getting her hair washed and brushed, but cleaning her body used to guarantee a scream-fest. But one day, she completely changed her mind! I’m never going to forget washing her that day thinking, “wow… she’s being so quiet and content… this is awesome… but is something wrong?!” Then I looked up from the faucet and caught her cheesing at me! Ever since then, she just sits there and enjoys the whole experience. It’s been a lot of fun. Now she just starts screaming when I take her out of the bath. Baby girl just wants to be a bathing beauty all day long! She is furious when her bath time is up.

Along with funny cheesing moments, here is one of my favorites. I feed her on-demand, so during the night I wait til she is fussing loud enough to wake me up. One night, around 3 a.m. I woke up to her grunts and groans and got up to go pump some fresh milk for her in the nursery. When I went back to our room to pick her up and feed her, I noticed she had a huge grin stretched across her face. I thought it was kind of funny because normally she isn’t super happy about being hungry. When I sat down and tried giving her the bottle, she rejected it with the most mischievous smile! Hahah she literally just wanted to hang out. She wasn’t even hungry! She just wanted attention and has obviously figured out that if she’s loud enough, someone will come pick her up and hold her. So manipulative haha. But I couldn’t even be mad about it because it was pretty freaking cute. She gets away with way too much because of how cute and sweet she is. Anyway, I was still pretty tired (did I mention it was 3 a.m.?), so I sat her down on her changing table and let her kick and wiggle and play until she decided she was actually hungry. She played for about a half hour in the middle of the night before she took the bottle I had previously thought she desperately needed. I just sat in the rocking chair laughing at how smart she already is. Girl knows how to get what she wants!

Something else noteworthy about this stage is how she lost tons of hair about a month after her birth (she had the goofiest old man receding hairline for weeks) but it’s started coming back in and it’s quite thick! I’ll forever be happy that she got Kendal’s hair. My heart is filled with pride everytime someone says, “look at all that hair!”. I’m just like, yeah… she’s flipping cute.

Something not super fun about this stage is that she found her lungs and she realllly knows how to use them. I know I said she is so sweet, and she really is! But oh my goodness… she went through a week of nearly non-stop crying. That was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever dealt with. One night, she literally cried for 5 hours straight. And it was not just fussing. Nope, it was full on, blood-curdling screams for five. whole. hours. And I got to deal with it all by myself because Kendal was away at work. It’s times like those you have to put the baby down in another room and look through happy pictures and videos on your phone that you actually love that screaming thing. It was also kind of nerve wracking because it seemed like she had somehow forgotten how to eat. Literally nothing would calm her down. By the time Kendal got home, I just plopped her into his arms and peaced out to bed. I couldn’t deal with it for a second longer. I am lucky to have a husband willing to take care of our baby late into the night so I can have several uninterrupted hours of alone time. I am also lucky because that stage only lasted about two weeks and since then, she’s started sleeping through the night, most nights.

As much as parents hate to admit it, crying is a good thing. It’s hard to listen to but it means your baby is becoming so aware of their surroundings. When she isn’t upset by her environment, it’s so fun to watch her interact with the world. There’s a little patch on the back of her head where she’s balding from her turning her head back and forth, observing everything around her. Her little eyes follow Kendal and I all around the room and it’s the best feeling. One of my friends noticed her eyes glued on me while we were in a room filled with tons of people and it made me realize what a special thing that is. She knows exactly who I am and only has eyes for me. She might not be able to talk yet, but she sure knows how to tell me she loves me!