Anya Marie turns ONE

Tomorrow, when Anya wakes up, she will be one year old. How time flew by so quickly, I will never ever know. But oh my. This has been the most cherished, sleepless, messiest, happiest, craziest year of my life. I am so happy to be her mama.

Sometimes blogging stresses me out because I want my words to flow eloquently and be flawless of any typos or errors. Tonight I just need a space to ooze all my thoughts. Because PHEW I am feeling allllll the emotions after putting that little sweetie down to sleep.

Anya is such a fun, happy baby. I know I have that description of her on repeat but it's true! She is so full of life and laughter. Like tonight during dinner, for example. We are sitting there, just the two of us (daddy isn't home til late on weeknights) and she was just HAMMING it up! She's been doing this thing lately where she attempts to suppress her laughter. Kind of like when you tell a joke and you are waiting for everyone's reaction and you're sitting there going "ehhhhhh?!?!?!?!" behind your big goofy smile. Hahah okay. Bad description probably. But she is a little comedy star in the making, I'm telling you.

I just want to compile a list in no certain order of all the things that make Anya, Anya, at this time of her life:

- She is SO close to walking. I think she knows she can do it, but she continues to crawl because she knows she can get to her destination quicker that way. She is a little fire cracker, that girl. Always going going going. Always busy with something. She has the need for speed.
- However, when we help her walk by holding her arms above her head, she giggles hysterically the whole way. She can't make it that far usually because she collapses to the ground in a fit of giggles! Hahah her little legs give out on her because she is so amped up on the fact that she's moving freely without clinging to the wall.
- Sometimes we catch her standing solo, holding onto NOTHING and I swear she doesn't even know she's doing it hahaha. Her attention is usually so wrapped up in whatever toy/ object she is holding and admiring that she doesn't even realize she's let go of whatever she was using to help her stand up! She'll do it for like 5 seconds and then her mind comes back to reality and I can just see her thoughts going "whoops how'd that wall/ couch/ drawer get away from me". The first time she did it was in the tub holding her little rubber duck and I was just like UHHH ANYA?! And she simply looked up at me all pleasantly like "what? nothing unusual going on here!"
- She is an amazing sharer. She LOVES to give me anything she has. Whether it's all her toys, books (more on that in a minute), food, or even something that she grabbed off the counter that I was using. Haha and what's most funny about the last one is that she is so pleased with herself for being "helpful". Like here mama let me strain my whole body to snag that mirror for you that you were using to do your hair! Even though it was clearly already in my reach, much more so than hers.
- Okay. Books. The girl is a BOOKWORM. And I love it!!! She gets so excited about every single page. When she turns the page she lets out a little "Oo!" and her whole body tenses up with excitement. It's even more joyful when the book has animals in it! ESPECIALLY cats. It's crazy to me that she can recognize a cat no matter how it's illustrated on the page but cats really light a fire in her soul. Best part though? She tries so so hard to make "meow" sounds come from her mouth. When she sees a cat she immediately looks at me in anticipation. I'll say, "Anya what does a kitty say?" and she starts smiling as I go "meeeoowww" and then bust up in laughter. Then she gets real serious and I can see the cogs turning in her brain, trying to figure out how I make those sounds with my mouth. So far, she's got the "ow" part down really well. It is so much fun to watch her learn and to see how happy she is when she accomplishes something new. She also loves pretty much every other animal and animal sound. Dogs are a close second to cats. She also loves monkeys and can imitate my monkey sounds pretty well, which is fun for both of us.
- Another fun thing about books is she has a book that has a rose on the first page and I've successfully taught her to smell the flower and it cracks me up every time!
- Sometimes when I am trying to get something around the house done and not focusing on what she's doing 100%, it'll get quiet and I realize oh boyyy what did she get into? But then I'll go around the corner and find her with a few books in her lap, happily turning the pages and staring at the pictures. Phewww those moments melt me. She is such a good, smart little cookie.
- Her next favorite thing would be this little wooden nativity set that I pulled out during Christmas and am never putting away haha. She is so attached to them and it fills me heart to the brim when I watch her play with the little figurines. She always has at least 3 characters in her hands. I wonder if she's already playing pretend with them? When do imagination abilities develop? I feel like there's no other reason she'd lay on her stomach playing with them for so long! Another funny thing about it is she is most attached to the Mary figure and my parents have a "little people" nativity set and she was most attached to the Mary at their house too! She really could pick it out of a line up! It was the most impressive thing. So it's just hysterical to me that she loves the Mary at our house the most too. It's just so sweet and I don't want to forget it.
- Food. That girl can put it down! Literally she will sometimes eat as much as I do during meals and I can't figure out how she does it! She could eat an endless supply of blueberries and cheese though. Those things never fail us. Chicken too, actually! Haha if berries aren't on her plate, the meat is the first thing to be devoured. Veggies are a bit trickier. It's not that she won't eat them. They just don't hold her attention very  long. And her preferences change often. She'll eat lots of peas or carrots or squash for several days and then want nothing to do with it randomly. So I have to be more strategic with getting those down her!
- She has started pointing while you carry her, showing you where she wants to go.
- She can flip a light switch on and off and she gets such a kick over being in control of the light/ darkness. You have to do this sparingly though, because once she does it one time, she'll want you to hold her up there for an hour so she can do it over and over and over again haha.
- Lots of our house is already baby proofed (also me-proofed tbh) because she can open so many things (drawers/ cabinets) and it causes extreme chaos.  Just the way she likes it haha.
- She has 3 teeth on the bottom and 4 cut through all at the same time on the top while she was sick (poor girl). The top ones are still pretty small so you're lucky if you catch a glimpse of them, but they are definitely there!
- She has the best laugh ever. And has become more ticklish so you can believe I'm taking advantage of that so I can hear that laugh as much as possible. She's most ticklish under her chin on her neck and loses it everytime I clean her up after meals or snacks. She is such a goob hahah.
- She's also become just a titch more cuddly and we LOVE it! Like after naps she'll take a second to rest her head on your shoulder when you've rescued her from the crib. Or if you're holding her in a store or church or somewhere and someone starts talking to her she kind of shys away into the crook of your neck which is funny because she literally is so social and not shy at all. I think she just knows it's cute and it'll make people love her even more!
- She also "snuggles" on cue if there's a soft stuffed animal, fuzzy blanket or frankly... carpet.. in sight. haha! It is so freaking cute.
- Along with her being a bit more cuddly, the other morning, Kendal had gotten up with her before he had to leave for school and brought her to me in our bed and she laid her whole body down on my stomach and relaxed for like a whole 30 seconds while a rubbed her back! It was magical. I hope she continues to get more cuddly as she grows. She's gotta figure out back rubs/ scratches are priceless sometime... right?

Those are all the things that came to my mind right away. I'm sure after I publish this I'll think of a whole other list of things, but I wanted to make sure I remember some of these precious moments forever.

It's impossible to think an entire year with her has passed by already. But even though I can't help but be a little sad those special moments of Anya being a tiny baby are gone, I am just so thankful she is healthy and growing. She's truly thriving and I feel so lucky that I can sleep soundly at night knowing that she is safe and perfectly on track.

A WHOLE HALF YEAR.

6 MONTHS. I can not wrap my head around that. I guess it's not so much that HALF a year is totally bananas, but the fact that in another 6 months my baby will be an ENTIRE year old... I will have been a mom for a year... she will likely be walking... maybe even talking! THAT IS TOTALLY BANANAS. Often times when we are out and about, people will come up and start telling us about their kids... that they are already 4 or 12 or starting college. What they always say is that it goes by in a blink of an eye. I have no doubt about that. I've already seen time fly in these short 6 months. It actually kind of scares me! I just want to freeze time and stay in these moments forever.

With all that being said, watching her grow fills my heart in ways I never thought possible. I've said this about every stage, but 5-6 months has been my favorite. This will definitely be the age I'll dream about during my future pregnancies and tough newborn nights. She rewards me in ways I never thought possible. The fact that she 100% knows who I am and looks for ME and wants ME is the greatest feeling I've ever experienced.

So, here we go! Here's a little list that Kendal helped me brainstorm of what's new in Miss Anya's life.


WE'VE GOT A ROLLER UP IN HERE! She has wanted to roll for the longest time but hadn't quite fully made it through to the end. The day she did (August 12th), nothing would stop her! It's like she finally realized what she was capable of and she wanted to keep seeing what else she could do. She can't talk, but she sure teaches me a lot. I'm serious though, after she did it the first time her entire face wore the happiest, proudest, most pleased smile. I, of course, FREAKED! I've seen her get so close, so many times that when it finally happened I could hardly believe it! I guess she might have been smiling so big because I was smiling so big, haha. After that, that's all she did. Almost the instant she was back on her back (with my help) she'd be turning to flip onto her belly again. The funny thing is, for a while, she could only turn to her left. We would try to motivate her with toys on her right side and she'd sort of go for it but when she didn't flip within a second she'd turn to her left and roll all the way over again, as if to say "Okay I can't quite do THAT yet... BUT CHECK THIS OUT!" She's successfully made it from her belly to her back a couple times, but hasn't quite mastered that trick yet. Similarly, although she is turning to her right with much more ease than she used to, it's definitely still more difficult for her than when turning to the left. Oh, another funny thing about this is she has to sleep on her changing pad now lol. The first day she turned, she literally wouldn't stop (still won't stop, actually) and since she can't get back to her back very easily, she get's stuck. And that scares the heck out of me. Before we realized we could use the changing pad to stop her from turning, I went two practically sleepless nights because I was up flipping her all night long. And when I wasn't sleeping I was watching her making she she didn't roll because I was paranoid she was going to suffocate. Fun, right? Luckily since we put the changing pad in her pack n' play, we are all sleeping peacefully again :)

She's also learned how to sit up! Well, kind of. She weebles and wobbles and usually ends up tipping over within a few seconds. But she is so proud of her newfound independence! We started off propping her up with the Boppy and one day we tried it without and she shocked us!

Anya loves to make all kinds of noises with her mouth. Her most recent thing is constantly smacking her lips. And it's so funny because her toothless mouth gets so scrunched up and her lips turn into a perfect line across her face. She looks like a lil old granny smiling away. She cracks us up.

Along with her crazy noises, Anya has figured out how to get attention. How, you ask? By dramatically coughing. Hahah you heard me right. That's her secret weapon. If you've ever seen Zoolander, it sounds just like Derek pathetically coughing after spending one day down in the mines. "I've got the black lung pop" lol! So yeah, what happens is if we look away for literally one second she starts coughing so then we look at her to make sure she's fine and then the most sly smile stretches across her face. She's a master manipulator, that one.

We think she might be a lefty! She seems to do more with her left hand so we are wondering if that will end up being her dominate side. If so, cool, she will have a secret superpower in sports! However I will feel a little bad because this world is made for rightys... Like finding left handed scissors is no joke. Okay, I don't really know that... it's just what I've heard!

Anya definitely got Kendal's thick dark hair... but unfortunately I think I gave her my snarls (literally every hairdresser I've been to is always like "Is your hair always this tangly?..." and then I end up brushing out my own hair because I have figured out less painful ways to do it haha). She tends to wake up from naps with tiny little dreads/ birds nests and we have to spend a while brushing it out or sometimes cutting it :( Sorry chicky!

She is a little pork. I'm sure you've noticed her delicious leg rolls in pictures. She is also extremely tall for her age (me+kendal=go figure ;) ). What this combination equals is a 6 month old wearing 12 month old clothes.

Anya discovered her feet this last month, meaning that keeping socks on her is a challenge and that her mouth is full of toes most of the time. I'm not complaining though, mind you! It's just oh so cute and makes me want to gather her folded up body and nibble every piece of her!

She's been able to get a death grip on my hair for a while now, but her aim has gotten pretty precise and accurate. No jewelry is safe. I'm thanking my lucky stars I still have an ear lobe after an incident last night haha!

Anya want's whatever we're having. She longs to be a big girl so when we are having adult food, she wants in on the action too. And if you don't offer her what you're eating right away, she gets reaaaal impatient. Her focus is alllll on the food during mealtime.

My Hubbard side of the family had a reunion over the Fourth of July and we discovered something fun... Anya LOVES babies. Which is too funny because she, herself, IS a baby. By the end of this year, there will be 6 great granddaughters. Anya will be the oldest and only two of the others were able to make it. But Anya was cracking me up because every time she saw one of the younger babies she started laughing and shaking with excitement. I was able to see a glimpse into the future and I think Anya will one day be the best older sister. She is already so nurturing!

We don't take Anya anywhere without multiple people commenting how cute/ beautiful/ happy/ smiley she is. We even had a lady lean over to us in a restaurant in Glacier who said, "I don't normally go out of my way to say anything about a strangers baby... but oh my gosh, that is one cute baby! She's like a little doll!" She wasn't wrong! It's kind of cool to see people smiling at your baby everywhere you take them. Such a little human can light up everyone's day! It's like a superpower!  Anya is the center of attention everywhere she goes. She know it. And she loves it.

This last thing I want to include because it depicts exactly what Anya is to Kendal and I. The other night was Kendal's birthday, so after we put Anya down we got to have some alone time. I was asking Kendal all sorts of questions to see what's changed in the past year and eventually I asked him, "What's the coolest thing thats ever happened to you?" I don't know what I was expecting, but his answer made my heart actually melt. He said Anya. I'd have to agree. She's pretty freaking great. She's everything perfect, wrapped up into the raddest little human.

Happy half year, my girl. I love you with everything I have in my heart and soul.

The Kings take Glacier National Park.

I'm keeping this short because tonight we are going out to celebrate Kendal's birthday (26 tomorrow!) and we plan to head out the moment Anya wakes up from her little snooze (which usually isn't too long). I just wanted to share some quick highlights of our trip to Glacier National Parks this past week! We had the best time with my parents and made so many wonderful memories. Anya is becoming quite the nature lover and it is so amazing to see the way her whole face lights up when she is outdoors. 

Our first day we went "day camping". Totally the perfect set up when you've got a baby in tow. We scored this amazing campground right by Lake McDonald. It was a day filled with nothing to do, if that makes sense. We were free to do whatever our hearts desired. It was so relaxing and good to spend time with my parents, who recently returned from a two year LDS mission in India. Those two love Anya an insane amount. It fills my heart to see my parents be grandparents. Anya is so lucky to be loved by them, along with Kendal's parents. 

That water behind me? FREEZING COLD. Did we jump in? DUH. If you're around my dad and he's around a frigid body of water, you best believe some sort of Polar Plunge is underway.

 So, we have this Patagonia-look-alike jacket for Anya and I am SO regretting not having it with me for these pictures. This little Japanese kitty sweatshirt made my dad smile so big though, so it all worked out :)

This was right after we got to the campsite. When we saw how close we were to the lake, we immediately grabbed Anya and took her down to see what a beautiful world she was born into. I am dipping her little toes into the water here and if you could hear this photograph it would sound like giggles and coos. Anya is so aware of her surroundings, it astounds me. 

My parents have been stoked to use this old swing for a couple months now. They were so happy to see she was finally big enough (barley) to use it on this trip. My dad strapped it up to some trees and Kendal plopped her right down in it. She was a little uncertain at first, but started cheesing the second he started pushing her. It's impossible to describe how amusing it is to see her experience things for the first time. She is a little busy body and eager to try everything around her.

Like, the way she holds onto the swing... I. CAN'T. EVEN! <3 <3 <3

Anya grabs everything and anything she sees. This last week she discovered jewelry and I don't think her world will ever be the same. Give that girl all the shiny, shimmery, glittery things! I know all babies, boys and girls, love looking at sparkly, eye-catching things... but something about the way she was surprisingly gentle with my necklace has me convinced she is all girl, through and through. Once she saw and touched my necklace, she couldn't take her eyes off of it. We sat on this bench together, just like this, for a fair amount of time while she admired the pretty stone hanging near my neck.

Since Anya has a case of FOMO (fear of missing out) she isn't terribly cuddily, which I certainly miss. So having the chance to sit with her and snuggle forehead to forehead filled my heart with so much happy.

Not even 6 months old and she totally understands what to do when a camera is out, I swear. She is something else. We don't go anywhere without people commenting what a happy baby we have. She really is the most content, sweetest thing. We lucked out with the best.

Just two chicks, having a moment :') Haha isn't this cute though? I think so. Anya was tugging on my braid as we were trying to get a picture so I turned my head to "reprimand" her and she was just cheesing away. I couldn't help but laugh with her. She is too silly!

Squinty eyed smiles at a pit stop we took on our way up the "Going to the Sun" highway. Glacier is full of treasures.

Totally dorking out, haha! Not the best picture I've ever taken, but I HAD to include it because this was one of my favorite moments of the trip and I never want to forget feeling like I was flying! We were in the most beautiful area of the park and I saw a girl sticking her head out the sunroof. I think I commented on it, or someone did, but anyway my parents suggested I do the same! I was a little surprised because that road it pretty narrow and curvy and right next to a cliff.... But I wasn't about to say no! It was the most amazing moment and I felt so free and so young! Hahah I am only 23 but it was one of the most youthful feelings I've felt since having a baby. 

I have ALWAYS wanted to take a bath in a free standing tub like this. When we got to our hotel and it had one, I couldn't wait to try it out! I had a little free time to myself soaking in the warm water and bubbles before Kendal brought in Anya. She was a mess from dinner (solids are no joke) and needed a little bath herself. As much as I enjoyed my alone time, time with her was even better. She was smiling and laughing and splashing. She has the most fun personality and I just eat it right up!

 Again, dipping in the water. I like this picture because you can see both of our raised cheeks, indicating that there is definitely a whole lot of smiling going on :)

She is my little merbaby. If it includes water, she's IN. She could have stared at the tiny waves crashing on the rocks all day long. And I could have stared at her staring all day long!

 The pudgy fingers, the arm rolls, THAT SMILE! I continually comment on how seriously unreal she is... because, SERIOUSLY, HOW IS SHE REAL?!? AND MINE?!?

 Possibly my favorite picture I've taken of these two yet. Anya smiles at any chance of independence she can get, so you can imagine just how much she loves it when Kendal lets her stand like this (even though sometimes it gives me a heart attack lol)

 I'm telling you, she knows just what to do for the camera!

 My people. I am so glad we got to experience Glacier but even more so that we got to experience it with my parents. They are so much fun, funny, patient and adventurous. The perfect traveling combination, if you ask me.

Ask anyone, I am not a morning person. However, I will wake up at the crack of dawn to go fishing with my dad. There is something about being on the water, soaking in the sun and anticipation of when a pole starts bobbing with a fish. 

I got the first fish of the day! I like how Kendal described my face in this picture... a smile so big it's nearly strained like a kid hopped up on birthday candy hahaha TOO TRUE THOUGH!

 Kendal had never gone fishing like this, really, so it was fun being with him for his first time. I love the excitement in this picture. Kendal is saying "I got one!" as Captain Hank brings it in with the net.

 It was kind of a slow day, to be honest. "But that's fishin'". I didn't really mind though. Like I said, it's everything about the experience I enjoy. And it was fun to do it with my husband and dad. My mom got to stay home and babysit our Anya, which she lives for, so it was a win-win for everyone!

Wanna know why I'm standing by the big one? Because I reeled that sucka in HOI YA!

Anya girl is 5 months!!!!!

HEYO! I promise I wrote this the day Anya turned 5 months. On my phone. In my notes. And then guess what? This lil mama never got around to publishing! So here I am. Updating three days before she'll be six months (completely freaking about that btw). Better late than never :)

.....


Today she is 5 months, tomorrow she’ll be six months and in a week she’ll be a year. Okay, okay, so that’s not really how it works BUT IT'S HOW IT FEELS. Mothering is such a trip. I want to freeze time and make her this size, this age, this way forever. And then I see a toddler or a child in a store and I get so excited thinking about what she’s going to be like when she’s that big... the funny things she’ll say, the things she’ll like, the things she’ll want to do and be. But then also I think I need to ground her for life for growing so freaking fast! I’m telling you, MOTHERING IS A TRIP.

Her five months of life have been the best months of my life. She is my best friend, seriously. She is so much fun and silly and quirky. Like she demands to stand all the time. Everything from her waist down is constantly flexed. Her legs, her feet, even her tiny toes. I think we’ve got a future ballerina on our hands! She DOES NOT like laying down (unless you start undressing her and make her think she’s getting changed... which, oddly enough, SHE LOVES). She loves having things over her face and will even giggle when you’re pulling something off or on her head, which is so funny to me! Similarly, she loves getting zipped up in her jammies. When she hears the zipper coming towards her face, her little half moon eyes immediately being to twinkle. By the time the zipper is under her chin, her whole face is smiling and she lets out such a girly giggle. That’s something else I love about her... she’s already so feminine in so many ways (besides the long grunts she makes when her binky falls out - aka is ripped out by herself haha). She makes girly little noises and moves her hands and fingers so daintily. She even pops her pinky out when she attempts holding her own bottle.

We’ve tried several solid foods, which she isn’t the biggest fan of. She likes the IDEA of eating, but not the actual act. It’s quite funny when she gets a spoonful because she’s so excited as it gets closer to her mouth, but she looks sooo betrayed once it enters. You’d think she’s like ice cream/ whipped cream/ yogurt because it’s dairy based after all, but her expression is like, “mom... what the H did you do to your milk?!” Haha! She’s also tried watermelon, rice, green beans, carrots and butternut squash. She isn’t too big on any of those either (actually the carrots and squash weren’t a total fail. She ate quite a bit and I could tell because she had a stinkyyyy diaper later. Lol). BUT her Bluth side really came out when she tried refried beans and didn’t look TOO offended. But we will keep trying because she is super interested anything we eat! Her eyes intently follow our forks/ spoons from plate to mouth, like she’s trying to figure out how the whole eating thing works. For now, she looooves her milk. She goes straight to heaven when she eats, eyes rolling back and all.

Even if food isn’t her favorite thing yet, stuffing anything she can grab into her mouth IS. If she can get it in her hands, it’s going into her mouth. NO MATTER WHAT. She is so determined about the whole thing. It’s cracks me up every time.

We are wondering when she’s going to start teething because she chews on everything and drools everywhere. I don’t really look forward to that stage, but I’m hoping it’s not as painful (for me or for her as everyone says). Only time will tell!

She still has a lovely little bald spot on the back of her head, but I’m confident she’s close to sitting up all by herself and everyone tells me that hair will grow in once it has a chance to!

She’s not quite rolling over... yet. But she is absolutely a side sleeper and it looks like she’s close to reaching that milestone as well! Sometimes when I’m sitting in the chair beside her crib and she’s turning to look at me I think she’s going to do it. She gets sooo close. Like her entire pelvis is touching but her arms stops her from finishing the whole movement. She has successfully done it a couple times on a sloped surface though, like in bed when either mine or Kendal’s weight is pushing the mattress down.

One of my favorite traits about her that I’ve noticed is how much she loves her binky. I’ve even caught her cooing at it a few times. How cute is that, right?! She is such a little lover.

Happy 3 months, little love.

Somehow my baby is 3 months today! It's completely cliche to say that time is flying by but WHATEVER IT'S TRUE! Anya has grown so much and continues to grow every day. It makes my mama heart happy and sad all at the same time. Also cliche, also true. All I know is that 3 months on the outside goes by SO much quicker than on the inside! It's fun hitting these milestones and realizing everything she's learned in such a short amount of time. Babies, man, they're absolutely amazing. 

Here's a little update....

I love: listening to her jabber... lil sis tells the most RIVETING stories! But I’ve discovered she’s extremely camera shy, so catching it on video is a challenge. 

I can’t get enough of: the way she falls asleep on my chest every morning after I feed her. I can (and do) stare at her perfect, peaceful, dreaming face for hours. 

I’m thankful for: Kendal’s “no-mercy” approach to swaddling... his homemade straight jacket keeps her sleeping through the entire night most of the time! 

I always want to remember: her pudgy fingers stretching and curling as she enjoys her bottle. She’s even started trying to hold it on her own. Already so independent. 

I’m insanely proud of: how determined she is to sit up on her own. She concentrates so hard when she’s trying to get up... it’s actually kind of hilarious. Dare I say, even better than her poop face. 

I always: race to get her after her naps because she gives the BEST smiles right after she wakes up. She is just so happy to see me and it makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

I can't live without: songs to help me get her to calm down and fall asleep. She's already such a King in that nature because she loves music, just like Kendal's side of the family. 

These three work almost every time: Cleopatra - The Lumineers. Lost in the Light - The Bahamas. And most importantly, The Happy Song - Imogen Heap. This one is literally magic. Even when she's screaming, I start the song and hold my phone by her head and she IMMEDIATELY calms down to concentrate on the sounds. Now, I'm not saying it KEEPS her calm because sometimes she is just too furious. But it definitely helps the majority of the time. If you have a baby... you NEED to try this. 

Some other notable developments that I can't think of a clever "I" statement for include: 

• Anya has discovered her hands and sucks on them ALL THE TIME. Her hands are almost always wet and sticky and have become the first thing I wash when I give her a bath. 
• She's also become quite the drool monster and is constantly blowing spit bubbles. Along with that, she's figured out how to click her tongue and blow her lips and it sends drool flying everyyyyywhereeee. Hahah so she's twice as messy but three times as fun because I could sit and listen to her make noises all day long. I do, in fact. 
• Last but not least, one of Kendal and I's favorite development is she's kind of learned to put herself to sleep. If she's calm, fed, changed, and has played a little... sometimes we can just set her in the crib or pack and play with her binky even if she's wide awake and she'll close her eyes and fall asleep all on her own. If you don't have kids, this might not seem that miraculous. But let me tell you, it's awesome. She is truly the best baby. And she's all mine :) And Kendal's, of course ;)

Long story short, Anya is an absolute joy. We wouldn’t trade life with her for anything.  

P.S. is there a way to make babies stay little but like... keep developing in all the other areas? SOS!

2 whole months

We took Anya in for her two month appointment on March 26th. Although the shots she got made us both cry, it was so much fun to see how much she’s grown! There is nothing quite as satisfying as seeing your baby chunk up. And I must say, she’s filling out rather nicely.  As of now, she is a little over 23 inches long (82 percentile), has a 15.6 inch head circumference (84 percentile), and weighs a whopping 12 lbs 3 oz (71 percentile). I knew she was growing like a weed because she feels so much heavier than she did just a few weeks ago, but I wasn’t prepared to hear she had already gained 4 pounds! She’s growing so fast and though I love watching her develop more into her own little person everyday, my mama heart breaks knowing there are so many things about the newborn stage that are forever in her past.

There is so much I love about the stage she is in right now. She truly has the sweetest personality. Even after she got her traumatic shots, she calmed right down once I picked her up and started bouncing her and reassuring her that everything was okay. Of course, helping her stop crying is not always that easy, but she has so much love in her tiny baby bod.

My favorite way that she shows me she loves me is through her gurgly coos. Everytime after a feeding she has so much to say. I can’t help but hold her extra close and have a full on goo-goo ga-ga conversation with her. Being a mother is the purest joy in the entire world. And being her mother is my greatest blessing.

She’s also gotten soooo smiley this month. It’s extremely rewarding to be able to see and enjoy her happy emotions. A fresh newborn is fun and sweet, but at times she felt like a tiny stranger who only used me as a 24 hour vending machine. Now she is becoming so alert to the world around her and I get to be the first witness as she expresses herself. It’s amazing how contagious smiles really are. When I smile, she smiles right back. And my heart bursts every time. I love the way her eyes twinkle when she smiles. I love knowing she is smiling without even looking at her mouth. She is filled with love and it radiates right out of her little windows to her happy soul.

She still loves her changing table more than any place in the house. I don’t even mind changing her diaper 10 times a day because it’s when I get to play and laugh with her. If my back didn’t still hurt after standing long from pregnancy and delivery, I would stand over her on that changing table all day and enjoy watching her wiggle with glee. I don’t know what gets her so amped about getting wiped down with a cold wet wipe, but it makes keeping her fresh and clean so much more fun!

She’s also learned to love bath time. She’s always loved getting her hair washed and brushed, but cleaning her body used to guarantee a scream-fest. But one day, she completely changed her mind! I’m never going to forget washing her that day thinking, “wow… she’s being so quiet and content… this is awesome… but is something wrong?!” Then I looked up from the faucet and caught her cheesing at me! Ever since then, she just sits there and enjoys the whole experience. It’s been a lot of fun. Now she just starts screaming when I take her out of the bath. Baby girl just wants to be a bathing beauty all day long! She is furious when her bath time is up.

Along with funny cheesing moments, here is one of my favorites. I feed her on-demand, so during the night I wait til she is fussing loud enough to wake me up. One night, around 3 a.m. I woke up to her grunts and groans and got up to go pump some fresh milk for her in the nursery. When I went back to our room to pick her up and feed her, I noticed she had a huge grin stretched across her face. I thought it was kind of funny because normally she isn’t super happy about being hungry. When I sat down and tried giving her the bottle, she rejected it with the most mischievous smile! Hahah she literally just wanted to hang out. She wasn’t even hungry! She just wanted attention and has obviously figured out that if she’s loud enough, someone will come pick her up and hold her. So manipulative haha. But I couldn’t even be mad about it because it was pretty freaking cute. She gets away with way too much because of how cute and sweet she is. Anyway, I was still pretty tired (did I mention it was 3 a.m.?), so I sat her down on her changing table and let her kick and wiggle and play until she decided she was actually hungry. She played for about a half hour in the middle of the night before she took the bottle I had previously thought she desperately needed. I just sat in the rocking chair laughing at how smart she already is. Girl knows how to get what she wants!

Something else noteworthy about this stage is how she lost tons of hair about a month after her birth (she had the goofiest old man receding hairline for weeks) but it’s started coming back in and it’s quite thick! I’ll forever be happy that she got Kendal’s hair. My heart is filled with pride everytime someone says, “look at all that hair!”. I’m just like, yeah… she’s flipping cute.

Something not super fun about this stage is that she found her lungs and she realllly knows how to use them. I know I said she is so sweet, and she really is! But oh my goodness… she went through a week of nearly non-stop crying. That was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever dealt with. One night, she literally cried for 5 hours straight. And it was not just fussing. Nope, it was full on, blood-curdling screams for five. whole. hours. And I got to deal with it all by myself because Kendal was away at work. It’s times like those you have to put the baby down in another room and look through happy pictures and videos on your phone that you actually love that screaming thing. It was also kind of nerve wracking because it seemed like she had somehow forgotten how to eat. Literally nothing would calm her down. By the time Kendal got home, I just plopped her into his arms and peaced out to bed. I couldn’t deal with it for a second longer. I am lucky to have a husband willing to take care of our baby late into the night so I can have several uninterrupted hours of alone time. I am also lucky because that stage only lasted about two weeks and since then, she’s started sleeping through the night, most nights.

As much as parents hate to admit it, crying is a good thing. It’s hard to listen to but it means your baby is becoming so aware of their surroundings. When she isn’t upset by her environment, it’s so fun to watch her interact with the world. There’s a little patch on the back of her head where she’s balding from her turning her head back and forth, observing everything around her. Her little eyes follow Kendal and I all around the room and it’s the best feeling. One of my friends noticed her eyes glued on me while we were in a room filled with tons of people and it made me realize what a special thing that is. She knows exactly who I am and only has eyes for me. She might not be able to talk yet, but she sure knows how to tell me she loves me!

38 Week Bumpdate

How far along? 38 weeks

Weight Gain? Again, my weight is about the same as last week! It seems I’ve gained about 27-29 lbs through this pregnancy, which is right on track!

Size of baby? Little one is the size of a spaghetti squash this week.

Pregnancy Symptoms? Pretty much everything you can name is at an all time high - heartburn, has to pee all. the. time. , moderate insomnia, exhaustion, swollen feet, nesting instinct, and braxton hicks contractions.  

Must have items?

• Notes on my phone so I can remember to jot down tasks to accomplish before baby gets here!

Sleep? Not good, not bad, just the usual. When Kendal has to wake up at 4 am for work I have a very difficult time falling back asleep. But luckily one morning when he didn’t have to set his alarm crazy early, I slept soundly until about 8:30! It was amaaaazing. Then Kendal woke me up with a foot massage and I was just so happy I could have cried! However, even the times I thought I was sleeping soundly, Kendal said I moaned and groaned throughout the night. Soooo maybe I wasn’t getting as restful sleep as I thought!

Cravings? I have either craved really healthy or really unhealthy this week! There hasn’t been a lot of in between. While I’ve had the time to prepare and enjoy 3 very balanced meals a day (which has made me feel amazing by the way), I have also found myself wanting to eat alllll the chocolate chip teddy grahams  (haven’t had those in years. Omg they are so so delish), bowl after bowl of nutter butter cereal (brand new! We found them at Walmart and they are freaking good), and Dr. Pepper or cherry coke (it has to be cherry, not original - and I am not a huge cherry flavored fan?) and spicy chicken sandwiches (on more than just one occasion)..... Even though I don’t really like soda OR spicy food. Weird right?? I have also been enjoying more dairy than usual this week, even though in the past weeks it has made me feel sick… for example, one of my go to snacks has been turkey w/ mozzarella cheese and crackers! Or garden veggie cheese dip from Gossners on crackers. Or blueberry drinkable yogurts. And for whatever reason… it hasn’t upset my tummy like it normally does. So strange! Pregnancy is such a doozy.

Anything making you queasy? I mentioned that nutter butter cereal as a craving just barely, but one night after eating one helping too many, I can’t eat anymore.... And looking at the box makes my stomach churn. It wasn’t a long term craving, obviously! But it hit the spot while it existed! Also, one night when my body was super achy (I seriously thought I was going into labor), Kendal and I were watching some YouTube videos to distract me from the pain. Well, we got on a foodie kick and started watching tons of videos about food and I enjoyed it for a while until I saw one that made my heartburn scream. It wasn’t even that gross? It was some concoction of tater tots topped with queso and some other stuff my brain isn’t even letting me remember right now. Haha

Baby movement? Always! Fortunately she hasn’t been up in my ribs QUITE as much this week. But her movements are so big now that honestly they sometimes make me feel nauseous. The only way I can describe it is it kind of feels the same as when you ride a ride like Rocket at Lagoon. You know, that dropping feeling where your stomach kind of soars? Honestly that feeling is one of my favorites in the entire world (I’ve tried convincing Kendal to go skydiving with me multiple times), however when your not expecting it and it’s actually caused by a little (big) baby instead of adrenaline…. It doesn’t settle too well.

Best moment this week? Since I stopped going into work this week, I have had the chance to put all my time and energy into bettering myself and our home before baby gets here! I made a list a few weeks ago and have slowly been checking off items every day, which just makes me feel so good. Checking items off lists has always been therapeutic to me! Plus the weather in Logan has been AMAZING this week! Not necessarily warm, but definitely not cold and very sunny :)))) I’ve loved it! It has motivated me to spend more time in the fresh air which has been so cleansing for my mental state. I’ve gone on walks everyday around noon, listening to uplifting podcasts, and it sets such a good tone for the rest of the day! It makes me feel so productive and content. I also had the goal to keep our sink clear of dishes, especially at the end of the night. It has really made a positive impact on the feel of our home in general. Dishes are easily my LEAST favorite chore in the entire world. Hate is a strong word, but that is how I feel about doing dishes. So keeping this goal has been huge for me! I think I dislike it so much because it is neverrrrr endingggg and it takes up so much time! It is required multiple times a day and piles up so friggen quick. Plus, I really cringe about the way my hands feel after doing the dishes… just yuck! BUT keeping the sink clear has motivated me to keep up with other chores around the house (that I don’t mind doing so much). I tell ya, that nesting urge is alive and real! Our house has never been cleaner. Having the time to make our space clear has kept my mind clear and allowed room for more positivity! I was in serious need of that before this baby comes. Just last week I was breaking down nearly every day about everything that needed to be done before she arrived and it was putting me in a dark place! Luckily I feel so much more ready and happy to be welcoming her into our family in just a few more days!!!!

Weird pregnancy moment? I seriously thought I was going into labor just last night. I was actually really surprised when I woke up to the morning and my body didn’t hurt so bad. I started feeling really uncomfortable around 8 pm and got the craziest urge to clean all our bathrooms and vacuum the carpets and sweep and mop the kitchen. Earlier that morning I had FaceTimed with my mom and I was telling her all about the cleaning I was going to do that day and she was like “Oh… maybe the baby will come tonight! Lot’s of mothers get the urge to clean right before baby comes!” Long story short, I took care of some car stuff that took longer than expected and I was too tired during the day to do the cleaning I had intended. So when my body started hurting, I was like “Ah! If I really go into labor tonight, our house will not be ready to bring her back to!” (even though it totally would be because as I just mentioned above, I’ve been cleaning and tidying all week). Anyway, after I did all that, I got into bed with Kendal and the pains just got worse and worse the longer I layed there. I ended up not falling asleep til like 1 because I was hurting so bad! But here I am, writing this post feeling perfectly normal. As normal as possible for being 39 weeks (today) anyway. So… we will just keep waiting until those early labor pains actually bring a baby into the world! Fingers crossed that’s only a few days away!

What I’m looking forward to? My mom and dad get here on MONDAY! Woop! I can’t wait to see them and I extra can’t wait to see my baby girl! She is so close! I can feel it!

37 Week Bumpdate

How far along? 37 weeks

Weight Gain? Same, same! The decimals might vary a little bit but not a lot has changed in a few weeks, which continues to surprise me because I am sure I am getting bigger!

Size of baby? My little honey is the size of a honeydew melon now! Caute :’)

Pregnancy Symptoms? I am back to the pure exhaustion of the first trimester. Showering makes me fatigued. I have to nap after a grocery store run. I practically fell asleep on the exam table while waiting for my doctor to come in. I stand for 10 minutes and my back aches. I had forgotten what it felt like to be THIS tired! Luckily, the end is near! Of course, then I will have a tiny human giving me a run for my money. But at least my body won’t be making another body at that point!

Must have items?

• Hand sanitizer to keep me healthy in the midst of cold and flu season! I can’t get sick this close to the due date!

Sleep? Due to my utter exhaustion, sleep hasn’t been too bad this week! Even though I still have my nightly routine of waking up in the middle of the night for a few hours, I have started actually napping a little during the day! I have always sucked at napping, so when I get a solid snooze in while the sun is still up, that is a HUGE win!

Cravings? Not any major cravings this week coming to mind! However I did make a batch of chocolate covered bananas with chopped walnuts that I have thoroughly enjoyed chowing on in the afternoons!

Anything making you queasy? Stumped on this question too! All I can say is the usual…. Literally everything I eat gives me heartburn. Everything. And it is worse at night because laying down doesn’t help it go away!

Baby movement? Oh my goodness, yes! And I could tell she dropped toward the beginning of the week because… things just felt different down there. Unfortunately she is still VERY much in my rib cage just because she is so long and big. And boy… when she moves her feet… I die a little. The pressure on my ribs is so intense and painful. Sometimes I even have marks on my skin and I know it’s bruising from the inside out. Pretty crazy! Oh, speaking of my skin…. It seriously feels like it’s going to SNAP! I don’t know how I’ll survive a few weeks of her getting bigger and bigger in there!

Best moment this week? Last week of work. So happy to be able to spend the time I have left before baby gets here to fully focus on myself and my baby to get enough rest, eat properly and mentally prepare myself for the big day! ALSO! My doctor told me I am dilated 1 cm! Woo! A couple of nights throughout the week, I was in quite a bit of pain and apparently those are the Braxton Hicks contractions. They honestly didn’t feel the way I’ve imagined it. I thought it would mainly be my bump that would hurt, but nope! For me, it basically feels like menstrual cramps on steroids. Haha fun huh? Mostly I was feeling it in my back and legs. Also… my lady bits. But according to my doctor, this is all normal! And when I was like, “yeah… they reeeeeally hurt.” She just smiled and said, “that’s so when you actually go into labor you’ll be glad that the nightly pains are gone instead of scared for the big pains to come!” Anyway, with all that being said, I don’t necessarily think any of this means I will go early (although that would be wonderful). My body is just preparing itself for the biggest event of all!

Weird pregnancy moment? Pregnancy brain was so real this week. I was training  my replacement at work and forgetting the most obvious stuff like peoples names that I interact with on a daily basis. And when I was making dinner, I realized I had put the garlic I was using in the measuring cup drawer instead of in the refrigerator. Haha glad I caught that quickly or else things would have smelled reeeal funky in our house. But the funniest moment of all was probably while I was talking to my doctor at the appointment and literally in the middle of my own sentence, I kind of mumbled off and then was like “.... what were we talking about?” HAHAH. Pregnancy brain is real, folks.

What I’m looking forward to? The big day! It is so close. I am getting more anxious and excited every day. AAAAND my parents will be here so soon! I can’t wait to see them!!!!